What’s Your Personal Sexual Ideology?
Food For Thought: Equality = Great Sex!
Savvy Sex Poll Results: How important is it for you to have an orgasm during sex?
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
1. If a woman’s genitals show signs of arousal, she will also report being turned on.
False – Since the 1970s many studies have shown that genital arousal is a poor predictor of subjective arousal in women. Factors other than genital temperature or tingling matter when women report how turned on they are.
2. Women are more prone to sexual problems at certain times of life such as after childbirth and during menopause.
True – Hormonal changes, sleep disruption, and stress associated with caring for a new child can all contribute to disruptions in normal sexual functioning. Keep in mind that it is normal to have sexual ups and downs throughout your life. Be kind to yourself, nurture your sensual side, and soon enough you’ll be interested in sex again.
3. Testosterone improves women’s sexual response.
False – The relationship between testosterone and women’s sexuality is very complex. This complexity makes it difficult to identify a “magic bullet” like testosterone that will “cure” female sexual problems.
4. Having an orgasm is always one of the top 3 items women associate with satisfying sex.
False – In recent research, the top 3 items a large sample of American women associated with satisfying sex were feeling close to a partner before sex, emotional closeness after sexual activity, and feeling loved.
5. Researchers emphasize objective, mechanical and physiological indicators rather than subjective experience to determine normal sexual function.
True – Thus, psychological, relational and cultural contexts are missing from the analysis of most sexual problems, and a “normal” diagnosis requires women to fit into traditional heterosexual performance standards.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
What are your attitudes, values, and beliefs about sex? How do they affect the way you negotiate with a partner about sex?
Examine the following four major sexual ideologies and think about the importance of your sexual ideology in your attitudes toward sexual behaviors such as pleasure, monogamy, masturbation, orgasm, and fantasy. You may find that your personal sexual ideology is comprised of parts of each of the four major ideologies or that one dominates your beliefs. Either way, knowing your personal sexual ideology can empower you while you navigate your sexual life.
Religious/Traditional Ideology
Sexuality is a moral issue. People are tempted by selfish impulses, but a good sex life will result from adhering to traditional family and religious values that emphasize responsibility and fidelity. Some religions are far more conservative than others, but all believe that sexual activities and restraints are related to spiritual authenticity, religious doctrine, and ritual practice. For example, kissing often signifies a union of the souls; kissing is a public sign of private feelings.
Relational/Therapeutic Ideology
Sexuality is a matter of individuality, couple communication, and cooperation. It is a “natural” drive and expression, shaped by learning and cultural influence. Sexual activities profoundly enrich health and intimacy when people share vulnerability. Diverse sexual activities allow couples to grow together and express different aspects of their personalities. Many sexual problems grow out of psychological wounds. For example, kissing expresses intimacy; feelings about kissing can be related to feelings about cleanliness.
Biological/Evolutionary Ideology
Sexual desires and behaviors are the result of evolutionary pressures and developed to serve reproduction and reproductive fitness. Sexual drive, many gender differences, and attractiveness patterns are hard-wired and controlled by biological factors such as hormones. Sexual problems are frequently caused by physiological factors. For example, kissing may be linked to infant suckling since the mouth and brain are organized for these connections.
Social/Cultural Ideology
Sexual desires and behaviors are constructed by culture and subcultural values. They derive from larger issues like how the culture views pleasure and different parts of the body and the emphasis on relationships versus individualism. Gender and age differences in sexuality are usually crucial to sexual values. Each group socializes its members through various systems of sexual control including criminal justice, education, and medical institutions. For example, kissing is part of the sexual script in movies; kissing patterns relate to cultural issues of personal space or bodily taboos.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
A recently published study from the University of Chicago revealed that couples who live in Western countries and who have gender equality report being more sexually satisfied than those from countries where men hold a higher status than women.
The reasons for this seem almost too obvious when you think about it. If you live in a society that values everyone equally, then everyone is given equal opportunity to pursue sexual pleasure.
It is encouraging to hear that Americans rank among the top four countries in sexual satisfaction, alongside Austria, Spain, and Canada. However, women are still discriminated against in many areas of both public and private life in the US, as are racial, ethnic, and sexual minorities, people with disabilities, and seniors. This begs the question, are we truly equal? A signpost of equality is a society in which everyone is afforded equal sexual rights, and we are far from there at this point in time.
What would the sexual landscape look like in an environment where everyone is truly equal? Imagine the sexual satisfaction of a couple whose relationship is based on equality—where each partner has the freedom to ask for what they want and the skills to negotiate a mutually satisfying sexual relationship. Perhaps the secret to a satisfying, longterm sexual relationship, much like a civilized society, is rooted in equality.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
How important is it for you to have an orgasm during sex?
27% Very Important
36% Important
31% Somewhat Important
4% Not at all Important
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Copyright 2006 Sueann Mark, Ph.D., All rights reserved
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo