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National Masturbation Month HistoryThe sexual visionaries at Good Vibrations in San Francisco started national Masturbation Month in 1995. Shocked by the controversy created by former US Surgeon General Jocelyn Elders’ statement that masturbation be part of comprehensive sex education, National Masturbation Month was conceived in an effort to raise awareness and highlight the importance of masturbation as part of a healthy sex life.
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Masturbation from a Holistic Perspective
Body: Use it or lose it!
Just like athletes maintain a rigorous training schedule to keep their bodies in shape and at peak performance level, masturbation is a great way to keep your sexual muscles toned. When we repeat any physical activity on a regular basis, in this case sexual arousal and orgasm, our muscles begin to remember the movements and actions making it easier to perform the same activity in the future. Masturbation facilitates this “muscle memory” process and helps you recreate sexual pleasure with a partner.
Mind: Zen and the art of masturbation
If meditating isn’t your cup of tea, try masturbating. Masturbation relieves stress and quiets the mind. When your mind won’t stop racing and you can’t focus, take a break to masturbate and bask in the glow of feel-good brain chemicals. The endorphin rush that comes with orgasm will help clear your mind and revive you. After masturbating you’ll feel refreshed and be ready to conquer the world!
Emotions: You have to love yourself before you can love someone else.
If you’re feeling down on yourself and unlovable, take a moment to find the pleasure in your own body. Focus on stimulating all of your senses individually or in combination to unlock your sensual self. After all, isn’t that what masturbation is all about?
Smell - burn your favorite incense or candle, fill your room with flowers or inhale the scent of your lover from his/her shirt or pillow
Hearing – whether it is Mozart, Barry White or Etta James, put yourself in “the mood” with the sexiest, most romantic music you can find
Taste - eat a truly decadent treat like chocolate or drink a glass of wine and savor the flavor of each bite/sip as it dances across your tongue
Vision - stand naked in front of a full-length mirror and survey your body, take note of the parts that you like. We all have issues with our bodies, but everyone can find something the like about himself or herself.
Touch - feel your body all over, including your genitals, and pay attention to which parts light up when you touch them. Use lotion or massage oil and lose yourself in soothing touch.
You may be surprised by how pleasurable your bodily experience can be. Discovering this for yourself will give you confidence to take your sexual revelations into a partnered sexual experience.
Lifestyle: Everyone has time to masturbate
The good thing about masturbation is that it doesn’t have to take very long to reach orgasm, for most people it only takes two to three minutes. If you can’t find two or three minutes to give yourself pleasure, maybe it’s time to seriously evaluate your over-scheduled lifestyle! Plus, you can masturbate whenever you are ready, you don’t have to wait until your partner is in the mood. In fact, your partner may prefer that you take care of your own sexual needs from time to time instead of relying solely on them for sexual gratification.
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Florida does it again
If you were wondering how Florida might interfere with individuals’ private medical decisions after the Terry Schiavo case, wonder no more. A Florida state court has granted an injunction baring a 13-year old girl from getting an abortion.
The girl is in the care of Florida’s Department of Children and Families, who argued that the girl is too young and immature to make an informed medical decision. Judge Ronald Alvarez agreed and issued a temporary injunction and ordered a psychological evaluation of the girl. This might seem reasonable except for the fact that Florida law specifically does not require parental consent for minors to get abortions. I guess if you are in the custody of the state the law doesn’t apply to you.
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The Sponge is Back
After a long hiatus, due to manufacturing issues, the contraceptive Sponge will be back on US drug-store shelves this summer. The Sponge was hugely popular before it was pulled from the market, so much so that it made it into a Seinfeld episode where Elaine is protecting her stash of Sponges by only using them only with partners she deems “Sponge-worthy.”
The Sponge is inserted into the vagina, blocking the cervix, and contains a spermicide that is non-hormonal. It’s easy to use and roughly as effective as the diaphragm. It can be left inside the vagina for up to 24 hours allowing for more spontaneous sexual encounters.
Be warned, however, the active ingredient in the Sponge is Nonoxynol-9 (a fun little detergent that is found in many cleaning products) which has been shown to irritate the lining of the vagina and leave the user more susceptible to HIV. In fact, lubricated condoms that use Nonoxynol-9 are being taken off of store shelves for this very reason.
But, if your not sensitive to Nonoxynol-9 and are not at risk for HIV you might find that you are Sponge-worthy.
For more information: www.todaysponge.com
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Savvy Sex Index: Size Matters
Average length of non-erect penis:
American – 3.46 inches
Chinese – 3.33 inches
Filipino – 2.89 inches
German – 3.4 inches
Israeli – 3.27 inches
Italian – 3.54 inches
Turk – 3.07 inches
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Ask me, I know.
Got a question about sex, but you don’t know who to ask? Ask me, I know. Send me your sex questions by e-mail to askmeiknow@drsueannmark.com . I will be including an anonymous question and answer in each issue of Savvy Sex.
Q: Masturbation is just for lonely, single people. Won't masturbating detract from my sexual relationship?
A: On the contrary! Masturbation is just another path to sexual pleasure; it's no more or less important or mature than any other type of sex. In fact, masturbation can be used as a tool to improve a partnered sexual relationship. Through masturbation you can learn about your body, how you like to be touched, the most sensitive parts of your body, and the type of stimulation you need to reach orgasm. You can fill your partner in on these secrets to make your sex life better.
Keep in mind that masturbation need not be kept to yourself. Some couples enjoy masturbating for each other. It can be really hot to watch your partner get her/himself off, plus if you don't get too hot and bothered, you can learn your partner's technique and use it on them later!
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This issue is packed with a lot of information. If you're feeling overwhelmed and would like some guidance, you may want to consider scheduling a session with Dr. Mark to discuss your concerns. I offer the following services in my San Francisco office and by phone:
If you're surfing the web, I encourage you to visit my website, www.drsueannmark.com, and vote in my newest sex survey on oral sex.
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Thanks for reading. I hope this issue has inspired you to make your sex life all you want it to be. Please feel free to forward this newsletter to friends that might be interested.
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Copyright 2005 Sueann Mark, Ph.D., All rights reserved
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